I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
