Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
