Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
