Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
