when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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