Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize