He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
He has the fingertips of a God
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