Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
