YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
