This is not my ceiling
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
