I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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