Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
