I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
