Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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