He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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