OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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