i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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