I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
