the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
