now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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