your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i think i have two assholes
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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