Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
