remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
