Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
