I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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