If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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