She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
