i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I don't deserve a penis
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
