I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
