you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
