Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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