Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
