I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
