Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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