she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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