It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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