I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize