Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
