I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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