I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
