My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
