He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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