it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize