I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
