I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize
