He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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