I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
