Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
