just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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