Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize