Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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