We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
