guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
