I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
