I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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